I have said this before: I will always have a thing for Lindsay Lohan. It matters not that she’s—well, all the things she says she is in this video. It matters not that being near her is about as volatile as a share of AIG. It matters not that she’s even considered giving up men completely (though, come on, how could she REALLY). All that matters is her magical smile, and that little freckle on her upper lip, and uh, the boobs.
Lindsay, I am worth more than $400 and I will treat you like a trailer park princess. I’ll even stomach family dinners. Now’s the time to come back to the hetero side…because right now, I am single and could use a little adventure.
3 years ago