Chris Reinhard's Reverie Machine

When conversation and copywriting collide.

Writing copy for the web has its ups and its downs. Ups, for example, include knowing that my medium isn’t going anywhere for at least a while, and I’ll have the opportunity to evolve and learn along with its own evolution.

The downs, or at least the most significant down, is having moments when I fall short of communicating my point online. Most often this happens in social environments (like Twitter and Tumblr) rather than when I’m working; but it’s just as frustrating to be misunderstood personally as it is professionally.

That being said, I have developed a couple tools that I use to assure myself that people are getting the point—even when deep down, I know they’re not.

I use proper grammar when I type things in earnest. This is important. By taking the time to correctly capitalize and punctuate sentences it shows that I’m taking a valid and real interest in whatever you have to say. Really, I mean that. Sure, sometimes I’ll get sloppy when I drink or am in a hurry, but nine times out of 10 you’ll notice that my spelling, word choice, punctuation, sentence structure and general grammar are quite spectacular and articulate.

When I’m trying to be sarcastic, I ‘yell.’ Using exclamation points during regular conversation is only necessary when one is very angry and can’t think of the right words to express his or her true opinion. We all know that saying “I’m angry” doesn’t always equate to an actual emotion, while “I’m angry!!!” often comes a lot closer. I utilize exclamation points to suggest that my reaction to something is more intense than it actually is, or that I’ve emotionalized a situation or statement to debilitating standards—as if I’d actually run out of words and needed to crutch on loudness. Please understand that I am not really yelling at you.

When I’m trying to show apathy, I stop punctuating. It’s really easy to understand once I explain it. If I’m talking to you about something and you bring up some superfluous point—that could be either a) unimportant, b) self-involved, or c) just plain dumb—I’ll let you know it by giving you a response like this:

You really believe that, don’t you

See? No punctuation. That’s a rhetorical question, kind of like how in real life when people say things and nobody responds because the original statement deserves nothing. This is like that. I might also just do this:

…

Sometimes I use the ‘unpunctuated’ method to hang cliffs in chat stories, too, because when a sentence isn’t finished it builds a strange immediate sense of anticipation. I’m not as good at this as the people who taught it to me, but I am getting better. See the following example based on a story I posted a few days ago:

So this girl
She is talking about having kids and shit
And all I can remember
Is her hooking up with J****
In the bathroom at Carmelo’s house senior year
And then coming out to the kitchen with her shirt on backwards
Taking a sip from a can of Coke
And realizing it was full of chew spit.

Though you read those all as one, they should be taken as singular statements, line by line, leading to one final, punctuated end.

As you can probably tell, these tools are better in application than they are in explanation; but if we all work together to continue cultivate a true standard for textual expression, I do believe those arguments about indifference and impersonality online will be quieted.

3 years ago