Chris Reinhard's Reverie Machine

You know what really gets to me?

When people use superlatives for like, everything they describe. Do you know what I’m talking about? Well, here are some examples.

- Man, that was the WORST sandwich I’ve EVER had.
- You know, Kanye West is like, the BEST rapper EVER.
- Obama will be the BIGGEST disappointment in PRESIDENTIAL HISTORY.
- I’ve NEVER been in worse traffic than I was today.

You do realize that using superlatives is a sign of a lacking vocabulary, right? You can talk about things you enjoy or you desire or you are fond of, things you despise or hate or dislike, and things that are bland, boring, or unimportant, WITHOUT using words like best or worst or ever or never. And when you do, I’ll start to think you’ve actually had more than two sandwiches, or listened to more than two rappers, or taken political science classes, or driven in traffic more than once before.

Otherwise, I’m going to assume you are uncultured and that you really have no frame of reference for anything you ever say.

(That is not to say that there is a time and a place for superlatives; we do in fact have favorites and we should be free to express them, when we actually feel that way and are not simply searching for a compelling descriptor.)

((I’m sorry for the rant. Wait, no I’m not.)) 3 years ago