December 2009
7 posts
“On the First Day, God created a bunch of microorganisms and gave them the...”
Dibs Plus
If you see an attractive girl and you want to call dibs on her, feel free to do so. But remember, if she is clearly underage, it’s critical that you affix the number of years you’d wait before acting upon said dibs. Example: Miley Cyrus is just 17, so she is a ‘dibs plus one.’ Example: Dakota Fanning is a mere 15 years old. She is a ‘dibs plus three.’
You have to grow old, before you can feel young...
In less than an hour, I turn 25. And from what I can tell, going a quarter of a century is no difficult task, but going twice as long will be. I feel the aches of age now—but I’ve hardly dealt with the pains of maturity. It’s hard to express what this coming year will, or should, mean. It’s impossible to fathom what the next revolution around the sun will bring…where...
“Purist chicks don’t like dudes with beards, because dudes with beards are...”
A Mayonnaise Jar & Two Beers...
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers. A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was...