November 2008
251 posts
3 tags
How could you?
Neil: Dude, I'm not really into halloween.
Chris: We can't be roommates.
Neil: In fact, next to thanksgiving, it's my least favorite holiday. It's not even a holiday!
Chris: Alright man, just stop. That's like insulting my religion.
Neil: It was fun when I was a kid but now I just end up getting to drunk dressed in something uncomfortable...that's like the only difference from just a normal weekend
Chris: Uh, are you forgetting the people watching? How amazing it is? The girls' costumes? The fucking CANDY?
Neil: Yeah, yeah...
Chris: The people watching is enough for me, honestly. I love the people who get so into it.
Neil: I'm more, "Get a life!" It's really just a reminder of what's wrong with the world. The shitty thing too is now Halloween is a whole weekend.
Chris: You have to be joking.
Neil: It's like I'm expected to dress up in something retarded for two days in a row
Chris: You sound like a fucking 80 year old. To be candid.
Neil: It's for the kids! Let the kids have it!
Chris: That's ridiculous man. I can't believe you actually feel that way. Why wouldn't we take the opportunity to ACT like kids every once in a while? There's nothing wrong with the world when it comes to Halloween.
Neil: When I become President... I'm banning halloween for everyone older than 13
Chris: Well, no one will vote for you because you're crazy.
Neil: Prison time will be involved. In time, they'll thank me
Chris: Except that might make it even better.
Neil: Yeah, have your underground parties
Chris: It'll be like prohibition. People will say WOW, remember Halloweenibition? Remember how STUPID President Robertson was to think it would make it disappear? Man, it just got better! Speakeasy costume parties...I am way into this. We'd start making Halloween last an entire month!
Neil: Yeah, and upon finding them I'll have camps sent up to send those who break the law so you know...they can concentrate.
Chris: Oh ho ho, clever.
Two minutes later...
Jody: Is he serious? Ahahahahahahahah. If he got elected, and then did that, a few years later a story would surface about President Robertson being molested on Halloween by a man in a Slimer costume.
October 2008
119 posts
(Via littleorphanammo)
Best song I’ve ever...
Whores and candy.
Halloween really is my favorite celebration. It’s funny I say that though, because on average I have about the worst excuse for a costume of anyone I’m ever with on the holiday. I throw stuff together at the last moment that is almost never what I planned on for the six months leading up, and usually I spend more time thinking about how ‘next year we’ll actually get the...
Tumblr!!!
The audio upload form hasn’t worked for two days now. Fix it - I have to serenade someone.
“I wish I were a Warhol silk screen hanging on the wall. Or little Joe or maybe...”
– Ian Curtis (via sunnycyl)
RLY
I CAN HAZ NO ONE ELSE
ithinkiblog:
Dwight Yoakam - Act Naturally.
...
Fucking lobsters.
I hate that one episode of Friends when one of the neurotic characters living in that $6,000/month Manhattan apartment is talking about how someone is, like, her lobster. I hate it because it’s totally inane and retarded, but every time I crush, I think of it. From the day I saw that episode some five years ago (or maybe longer) to the present, it never fails to enter my mind. It’s...
Fitter, happier, more productive,
comfortable,
not drinking too much,
regular exercise at the gym
(3 days a week),
getting on better with your associate employee contemporaries,
at ease,
eating well
(no more microwave dinners and saturated fats),
a patient better driver,
a safer car
(baby smiling in back seat),
sleeping well
(no bad dreams),
no paranoia,
careful to all animals...
Content creation film experience.
Hi my name is Chris. Right now I’m being filmed for this documentary called the Culture of Content Creation. Because of that I’m not allowed to look anywhere but at the computer screen or otherwise I might ruin the shot. Right now, Scott is shooting my hands close up. And I can’t seem to think of anything prevalent to type. So I’m just making shit up. I think I’ll...
Double-fisting: not just a way to drink beer...
Seattle is a city unlike any other. In fact, the whole of the Pacific Northwest has this undeniable essence that I haven’t been able to find anywhere else. From its unique landscape—seemingly a mishmash of the rest of America smashed together—to its incredible affection for the artistic community and its overwhelmingly youthful vigor, there really is nowhere else like it in this...
Poppin' bottles over Mulholland.
For this past New Year’s celebration, I did a little jet-setting and spent a few days in the City of Angels. Aside from its literal translation, I still for the life of me can’t figure out why they call it that, because whenever I go there I end up feeling like I should be hooked up to an IV rather than singing praises. Anyway, some of my best friends live in Hollywood and had promised...
Return on tears.
“I can’t wait to graduate college and cry for something worth crying for.”
My new friend Tara said that this morning, and it made me wonder about the emotional value of adulthood. I was thinking about how we’re essentially told that everything we do as children and adolescents is simply part of a primer course on how to effectively experience adulthood. But I have to say,...
Happy birthday, Alex.
My stomach is turning and I can still taste the Red Bull in my throat and on the backs of my teeth, even though I’ve brushed twice and rinsed with Listerine three times since getting home at three this morning. I count the throbbing pulses in my temples, not because it’s good math practice but because they’re totally unavoidable. I’m listening to the new Jakob Dylan album...
Common sense. Simple common sense.
I’m rereading Chuck Klosterman’s IV and just got through with the article about Mike Skinner, the mastermind and uniquely prophetic proprietor of the Streets. Now, I don’t want to get into anything serious here but it’s hard to avoid exploring one piece of the interview that really caught my attention. Keep in mind that the article was written back in 2003, and Skinner’s personal philosophy may...
When advertising really works.
When she looks like this. Who are you?
Missed Connections - Why?
One of my new favorite things to do is read the “Missed Connections” ads on craigslist. It might be a little sadistic, but I think these are some of the funniest personal ads I’ve ever read. Sometimes they are really amazing and creepy; some are awesomely sexual; and other times they are more like breakup letters than hopeful reconnection stabs.
Who are these people?
I have a...
For Jody.
The.
Playing into the subject.
Before I started writing here, I had a consistent issue with trying to ‘write outside the box.’ I would be chugging along, filling up pages and creating a storyline, when all of a sudden I’d freak out, say something like “gahhhhhh” and throw my pen across the room. Wait, wait, sit down. I’m not crazy, I promise. Let me explain.
It was just me, realizing that...
I'm not going to your nightclub anymore.
I have like, seventeen new friends on Facebook who all live in Denver and who all promote the same stupid nightclubs: Below, 24k, Suite 200, et cetera. And I know they’re just trying to do their jobs but I have to be candid: I am never going to your nightclub if you send me a Facebook invite. Even if Brody Jenner himself was going to be there pouring my fucking champagne I still probably...
Generation Y vs. Generation Y Marketers
I’m both a member of the “Why?” generation and a marketer trying to hook it, so take everything I write here as fact. The rift between Generation Y and its patriarchal predecessors is growing. Weird that’s the case, because (and I had to do math to figure this out) the older we get, the narrower the age gap becomes. And the more data these marketing research firms collect...
Chris must be feeling something.
This is a poem about being upset, apparently written by a sixteen-year-old girl. OH, and I didn’t write it today or any time recently.
I’m seething.
I’m breathing heat.
I’m battered, blistered, flustered but not healing.
I’m sorrowfully replete.
I’m reeling.
I’m raining sleet.
I’m soggy, drowning, crying but not feeling—
Completely...
The road to uh, I dunno.
I often wonder what kind of a change my writing is going to instill in me. It’s weird to think about what I was doing before I started jotting down daily messages to myself in a trendy Moleskine that I got from some party at the Nike Store (random epiphany-inducing event, right?), and how different things look to me now. That was only eight months ago—it’s been two since I opened Chris...
Carla Bruni - Tu Es Ma Came
Sexy.
Missed Connections #3 →
Shotgun Willie’s around midnight tonight. I was leaving………. - m4w (Shotgun Willie’s)
You and your friends were entering. You had reddish curly hair and light eyes wearing all black. We both held a strong gaze into each others eyes for quite a while until your friend asked if i was leaving. Then i passed you all and we met eyes again but you shied away, maybe because...
That was inappropriate.
I think I was tired when I woke up this morning. I went to take a shower and when I took my underwear off, instead of throwing them in the laundry basket I threw them in the toilet.
walpaper:
To Sheila - Smashing Pumpkins
—-
...
Dudes in horror movies should never try to be the hero. They should just sit by their girl, turn on the TV and wait until it’s light out. And they should NEVER get their dad’s gun out of its hiding place. That’s just plain stupid.
"Without A Doubt"
I’m out I’m the middle of nowhere and that one sappy 3Oh!3 song is making me feel a little down. Plus I downloaded a Magic 8-Ball app on my iPhone and it told me something I didn’t want to know. I’m worried about the future for reasons that I can’t divulge but for some reason, there’s only one thing I want to know for certain. And I’m not sure I have the...
The Stills - Being Here
…makes me wish...
MTV MUSIC - I Want My MTV →
If MTV could do anything in the past few years (besides The Hills) that would make me stop hating it, this would be just the thing. And lo and behold, it’s done.
Check out every video aired on the channel - ever - by simply clicking here.
(Thanks to The Denver Egotist for uncovering this before me.)
Missed Connection #2 →
had a dream about you last night - m4w
it was a vivid lustfilled dream. no sex in it… but you loved my boots. they had you dripping wet, you made me feel. this is not a missed connection but more of a soon to be connection. ive had dreams like this before, some have proved real. this time i got a name… your name is kim or kimmie i made a joke about alchemy. if this sounds like a dream...
Just my kind of writing.
tokyohanna:
The current issue of Earplug has some great writing in Reviews.
About Juana Molina:
subtly crisscrossing melodies, and electronic noodles curl subliminally around each verse. There are razor slices of what might have been saxophone or organ parts / glide from soothing to inflamed
Tobacco:
the warm acid tones and fuzzy analog mysticism of Boards of Canada
Bicycles are your...
Ben Folds - Cologne
Something about Ben’s...
I am not a trainwreck.
I really don’t like that I haven’t had time to write lately. Because when I don’t write, I lose my ability to understand myself and the way I feel about important people and things in my life. It’s like being in a band that never practices: sounds get stale, the words stop making sense, and people stop paying attention. It doesn’t matter much to me who actually reads...
Lindsey Buckingham - Holiday Road (Codeine...
McCain campaign: Palin returned most GOP clothes →
That’s good. Cuz when you return stuff, it’s like it never happened!