Reverie Machine

The world was left with an emotional stain even Oxy-clean couldn’t remove Sunday as announcements hit the trending topics confirming that legendary pitch man Billy Mays had died in his Florida home. The infomercial vanguard was best known for his work hawking cleaning supplies on late-night TV, and had recently completed some hilariously self-deprecating work for ESPN.

The cause of Mays’ death is still unconfirmed, but speculators are still suggesting that the 50-year-old American icon had suffered from heart disease—not a head injury suffered during a recent airline flight. Whatever the cause, our condolences go out to the family and friends of Mr. Mays. We hope this is the last of the stories we’ll have to report for a while.

for OneRiot Blog.

1. Mos Def (19) 
2. The Beatles (18) 
3. Ryan Adams (14) 
4. Beastie Boys (12) 
5. The Who (12) 

Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz

Less than an hour ago, reports started rushing in that Michael Jackson had suffered cardiac arrest. Only a couple minutes later, followup reports were suggesting he had died on his way to the hospital. It appears that the preeminent King of Pop’s era is over.

Michael Jackson had 14 number one hits in his career, which began before the singer was 10 years old. He is survived by three children. Clearly his later years found him a confused and unstable individual; but the loss of one of music’s most respected and influential performers is a sad one regardless. Hopefully, the legacy he leaves will be deeper rooted in his many contributions to popular culture, and not his personal life.

by Chris Reinhard for OneRiot Blog

Once you(‘re) pop(ped for soliciting prostitution), you can’t stop: not just a tagline, but a way of life. Lahoma Sue Smith of Oklahoma City was busted last week for dropping trow and giving it up for a container of—get this—potato chips. OneRiot has recovered an exclusive*, official transcript of the actual encounter between Smith and the unidentified Frito-Lay employee:

Lahoma Sue Smith: Hey big boy, whatchu got in that there crate, hmm?
Frito-Lay Employee: Oh, hello ma’am. Just got some chips in here.
LSS: Is that so, Mister Man? What kinna chips you got?
FLE: It’s assorted, ma’am.
LSS: You wanna trade?
FLE: I’m not really supposed to, ma’am. I’m just supposed to deliver these chips to that store over there.
LSS: How’s about you deliver something else, to my store?
FLE: I’m not even sure what that’s supposed to mean.
LSS: Oh I think you do. Just bring your cute brown uniform-wearin’ booty over here. That’s it, sit down right there on that pile of tires.
FLE: If I get fired for this, I’m not sure it’ll be worth it. Just take the chips and let’s do it. At least I can say I was robbed.

by Chris Reinhard for OneRiot Blog.

1. Jeff Buckley (37) 
2. Passion Pit (28) 
3. The Damnwells (28) 
4. T. Rex (26) 
5. The Lonely Island (26) 

Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz